Saturday, 22 December 2007

Misanthrope

What do you do when your day is filled with activities you don't want to involve yourself in? Vacation time in IIT is hard time. One finds oneself tethered when one goes home, so I try my best to avoid it. My sister is lost in her sophomore world of malls and college fests; my mom finds her solace in watching every cookery show on the television and there isn't much I have to talk to her too. Dad is pleasant to talk to but it isn't very often that two workaholics find time for each other. Socializing with friends has decreased considerably and I find it more and more difficult these days to be part of groups on a regular basis unless there is a specific purpose. The unfortunate part of being me is that I am the kind of person who ends up dominating conversations and I don't know whether the others are enjoying my company or meekly tolerating me while we're at it. I don't enjoy chatting very much either but then that's the only way I can keep touch with some people who're important to me. Long conversations bore and tire me and I stop responding and act callous after a point of time. This has led me to hurt some in a way that I did not intend to. I feel stupid. I feel sorry. One wants people but only wants them so much.

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