IITians are used to a reputation in the outside world. I cannot say that we 'command' that reputation but it is certainly thrust upon us, whether we like it or not, whether we deserve it or not. To many women out there, a man who can solve a combinatorics problem faster than he can conjure up an original pick up line and state it confidently might be an immensely unimpressive prospect to bear as a spectacle, let alone someone they might want to solicit for a boyfriend. Indeed, like it is for Major Major many of the women are impressed on noticing how unimpressive we IITians are in these respects.
Some men seek celibacy, some men have it thrust upon them and to some men it comes naturally. IITians come in all three categories. Isn't the inadequacy obvious, when they attempt pick up lines "Hlike, ey, Whachoo doin tonight? Wanna do me?" or the slightly more erudite sounding "I'm a cartoonist interested in making a comic strip. Will you be my comic?" or the absolute chauvinistic loser -"I was caught the moment I set my eyes on you. You're one hell of a hooker!".
The problem you see, is that most of us haven't still gotten over the 'gene chauvinism' that comes to us naturally. Even when an IITian desperately fancies a girl, the feeling of being a benefactor who would masterfully father above-average intelligent children and thus do her and humanity an immense favour overwhelms his fundamental need to be with her and break through the celibacy jinx that has been tattooed on his forehead.
And that is why, I believe it is a terrible necessity that we learn to recognise when a woman is in heat and suppress our natural propensity to turn her off by wearing chappals (even though we may think it perfectly suits our dispositions), sharing sexual fantasies involving mechanical objects that are simultaneously designed to intensify pleasure and circumvent the second law of thermodynamics (say your primary objective was the latter and the former was a mere side effect and you lose her forever), telling her that you're idea of an ideal honeymoon location is Salt Lake City when Undertaker is going to make his last appearance in Wrestlemania 2013 and so on. We need to pay judicious attention to her attention span. That said, I cannot elaborate on the other things that one must do while with a woman. That probably needs an expert which I am clearly not.
The women are out there. But there are stupid people who keep telling us we're still great despite the inability to attract women and make it seem like a cardinal virtue. For instance, an editorial of TOI that I read sometime ago had a fable where an IITian was walking along a lake when he heard a voice. He turned around to see a frog talking to him. The frog said, "Take me and kiss me. I shall turn into a beautiful princess for you to have". He was a little freaked out and took a couple of quick steps away from the frog but his curiosity pulled him back. To reaffirm that this wasn't a dream he went near the frog and prodded it. It squeaked again, "Take me and kiss me. I shall turn into a beautiful princess for you to have". The IITian picks the frog by its leg and puts it into his pocket. The frog is puzzled and shouts, "Why the hell aren't you kissing me asshole?". The IITian smugly replies, "I don't have time for a girlfriend but a talking frog is cool".
Now, who the hell said that we didn't have time for girlfriends? That this was printed in TOI is not any placation. Rather, it is precisely the problem for most people don't read beyond TOI and thus we find ourselves unable to get rid of this reputation! The bigger problem is that most of us (including me some might say) aren't even trying hard to undo this! But a day will come and we will experience testosteronic desperation when a chill will collectively pass through our spines reminding us that our genes are in grave danger of not being passed into posterity. And then when an IITian feels delighted when he spots a frog who says, "Take me and kiss me. I shall turn into a beautiful princess for you to have", he shall immediately pick it up, put it into his pocket and rush to a secluded place with his heart swelling with anticipation. And all the while the rest of the frogs will happily croak, "Dat wuz a gud won. Anudder azzholl iz guin to feel d sting while kissing a speaking amphibian. Wen he will scream in pain und realize dat he shuld huv lernt his biology better, we shall croak appily. "
Some men seek celibacy, some men have it thrust upon them and to some men it comes naturally. IITians come in all three categories. Isn't the inadequacy obvious, when they attempt pick up lines "Hlike, ey, Whachoo doin tonight? Wanna do me?" or the slightly more erudite sounding "I'm a cartoonist interested in making a comic strip. Will you be my comic?" or the absolute chauvinistic loser -"I was caught the moment I set my eyes on you. You're one hell of a hooker!".
The problem you see, is that most of us haven't still gotten over the 'gene chauvinism' that comes to us naturally. Even when an IITian desperately fancies a girl, the feeling of being a benefactor who would masterfully father above-average intelligent children and thus do her and humanity an immense favour overwhelms his fundamental need to be with her and break through the celibacy jinx that has been tattooed on his forehead.
And that is why, I believe it is a terrible necessity that we learn to recognise when a woman is in heat and suppress our natural propensity to turn her off by wearing chappals (even though we may think it perfectly suits our dispositions), sharing sexual fantasies involving mechanical objects that are simultaneously designed to intensify pleasure and circumvent the second law of thermodynamics (say your primary objective was the latter and the former was a mere side effect and you lose her forever), telling her that you're idea of an ideal honeymoon location is Salt Lake City when Undertaker is going to make his last appearance in Wrestlemania 2013 and so on. We need to pay judicious attention to her attention span. That said, I cannot elaborate on the other things that one must do while with a woman. That probably needs an expert which I am clearly not.
The women are out there. But there are stupid people who keep telling us we're still great despite the inability to attract women and make it seem like a cardinal virtue. For instance, an editorial of TOI that I read sometime ago had a fable where an IITian was walking along a lake when he heard a voice. He turned around to see a frog talking to him. The frog said, "Take me and kiss me. I shall turn into a beautiful princess for you to have". He was a little freaked out and took a couple of quick steps away from the frog but his curiosity pulled him back. To reaffirm that this wasn't a dream he went near the frog and prodded it. It squeaked again, "Take me and kiss me. I shall turn into a beautiful princess for you to have". The IITian picks the frog by its leg and puts it into his pocket. The frog is puzzled and shouts, "Why the hell aren't you kissing me asshole?". The IITian smugly replies, "I don't have time for a girlfriend but a talking frog is cool".
Now, who the hell said that we didn't have time for girlfriends? That this was printed in TOI is not any placation. Rather, it is precisely the problem for most people don't read beyond TOI and thus we find ourselves unable to get rid of this reputation! The bigger problem is that most of us (including me some might say) aren't even trying hard to undo this! But a day will come and we will experience testosteronic desperation when a chill will collectively pass through our spines reminding us that our genes are in grave danger of not being passed into posterity. And then when an IITian feels delighted when he spots a frog who says, "Take me and kiss me. I shall turn into a beautiful princess for you to have", he shall immediately pick it up, put it into his pocket and rush to a secluded place with his heart swelling with anticipation. And all the while the rest of the frogs will happily croak, "Dat wuz a gud won. Anudder azzholl iz guin to feel d sting while kissing a speaking amphibian. Wen he will scream in pain und realize dat he shuld huv lernt his biology better, we shall croak appily. "
4 comments:
tsk tsk. how cynical *are* you??
we aren't *thaat* bad youknow :-/
sheesh...what made you think I meant all that I said? :). Rantings on an sunday shouldn't be taken seriously my dear friend ;).
Indeed. Rantings on a Sunday, that too, so close to April 1st! :-P
Hey so.. we have a great prank idea. Guess who the target is? :-D
Sadly I have many ideas.. so many candidates :(. Count me in when the prank is performed :)
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